So (from my understanding) when we get saved, when we accept Jesus Christ into our heart and we become born again, or at some point, we get led into the ‘wilderness’… so to speak…
What does that mean? That means we get tested, our faith gets tested.
I was unaware of this.
Jesus was led into the wilderness to be tested, or tempted by the devil. He was there for forty days and forty nights. The Israelite’s were led into the wilderness but they were there for forty years. Hmm… The Difference… Jesus past the test, He was not tempted. He didn’t let the devil tempt him. He didn’t let the devil deceive Him. The Israelite’s complained and had false idols.
Once I realized God had saved me And Blessed me (changed my life), I thought everything was just going to get better and better. I was so excited for the future, I didn’t even think about anything going wrong.
Eighteen years later that excitement is gone and I have been depressed for the past five years. I should be happy but I’m not because my husband ruined it. Well really the devil did I guess, but my husband definitely played a part. But I do have hope. I believe the Bible is true so I keep going.
I keep going… around this mountain again and again. Around and around I go. I keep going around the mountain drinking and complaining, being angry at my husband for “what he has done”. And how he continues to “make me feel”.
I know better so why don’t I do better? I know better not to drink, it just makes the problem worse because then he uses my drinking as the problem.
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do. -Romans 7:15 Even the apostle Paul struggled with sin.
And I’m not saying that sinning will keep you in the wilderness… I think disobedience will.
It still remains that some will enter that rest, and those who formerly had the gospel preached to them did not go in, because of their disobedience. -Hebrews 4:6
What am I being disobedient about??
Being sober… I guess
And smoking…
I have felt for about six years now that God wanted me to quit smoking. Not because it’s a sin but because it will mess up my testimony.
How many “Christians” do you see smoking? Yeah, you will see smokers at church, but…. I’m thinking of the right word… maybe mature… you do not see mature Christians smoking. You don’t see pastors and preachers smoking. Not that I’m going to be a pastor or a preacher or anything, but still…
So around this mountain I go in this spiritual battle, hanging on to my faith.
My faith is the only thing that keeps me going.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. -Romans 8:28
I love Him and I believe I am called according to His purpose so I know that in all things (including these trips around the mountain) God is working it for good.